The Morning After

GOOD MORNING TEXTS.

if you're gonna send one today.
you really need to send one the day after.
and the day after that.
and the day after that
forever.

because! one minute its like: oh she likes me!
and then the next day its: ...
NOTHING!
inconsistency is LAME.

for tala/ and gaza

Moving Towards Home
by June Jordan

"Where is Abu Fadi," she wailed.
"Who will bring me my loved one?"
{{{{New York Times, 9/20/82(after the 1982 Phalangist/Israeli Massacre of Palestinian Refugees in Sabra and Shatila)}}}}


I do not wish to speak about
the bulldozer and thered dirt
not quite covering all of the arms and legs

Nor do I wish to speak about the nightlong screams
that reached
the observation posts where soldiers lounged about

Nor do I wish to speak about the woman
who shoved her baby
into the stranger's hands before she was led away
Nor do I wish to speak about the father whose sons
were shot
through the head while they slit his own throat beforethe eyes
of his wife

Nor do I wish to speak about the army that lit continuous
flares into the darkness so that others could see
the backs of their victims lined against the wall
Nor do I wish to speak about the piled up bodies and
the stenchthat will not float
Nor do I wish to speak about the nurse again andagain raped
before they murdered her on the hospital floor

Nor do I wish to speak about the rattling bullets
thatdid nothalt on that keening trajectory
Nor do I wish to speak about the pounding on thedoors
andthe breaking of windows and the hauling of families
intothe world of the dead

I do not wish to speak about the bulldozer
and thered dirt
not quite covering all of the arms and legs
because I do not wish to speak about unspeakable events
that must follow from those who dare"to purify" a people
those who dare"to exterminate" a people
those who dareto describe human beings as "beasts with two legs"
those who dare"to mop up"
"to tighten the noose"
"to step up the military pressure"
"to ring around" civilian streets with tanks
those who dareto close the universities
to abolish the press
to kill the elected representatives
of the people who refuse to be purified

those are the ones from whom we must redeem
the words of our beginning
because I need to speak about home

I need to speak about living room
where the land is not bullied and beaten into
a tombstone
I need to speak about living room
where the talk will take place in my language
I need to speak about living room
where my children will grow without horror
I need to speak about living room where the men
of my family between the ages of six and sixty-fiveare notmarched
into a roundup that leads to the grave
I need to talk about living room
where I can sit without grief without wailing aloudfor my loved ones
where I must not ask where is Abu Fadi
because he will be there beside me

I need to talk about living room
because I need to talk about home
I was born a Black woman
and nowI am become a Palestinian

against the relentless laughter of evil
there is less and less living roomand where are my loved ones?
It is time to make our way home.

in definition

panacea- a remedy for all disease or ills; cure all. 

tribadism- a lesbian practice in which women, simulate heterosexual intercourse, rubbing clits, to achieve orgasm. 

*

tribadism is an ancient panacea. and cost efficient. 

- c. clarke.

i wonder...

how come there's no birth control for men?

women got the shot/ the pill/ the morning after/ the patch/
and i'm sure its some other stuff but i'm gay. so i don't really know em that well.

but seriously. why isn't there some pill dudes could take to just make them shoot blanks for a week or so?

why is it ALWAYS on the woman?

WHY THE WORD LESBIAN

really doesn't work for me....

according to dictionary.com a lesbian (adj) is as follows:
1.of or pertaining to Lesbos.
2.(usually lowercase) of, pertaining to,
or characteristic of female homosexuality.
3.(usually lowercase) erotic;
sensual.–noun
4.an inhabitant of Lesbos.
5.(usually lowercase) a female
homosexual.

*
whole time, the word lesbian is derived from LESBOS the island where gay/
greek poet SAPHHO is from. so anyway. the reasons lesbian is not it:

1. i'm not from lesbos
2. who i am is not an adjective
3. why else? i don't have nothing to do with sappho
4. she ain't like, the first lesbian ever or anything like that
5. i think that's all i can come up with right now.
6. feel free to contribute.
7. in the meantime i'm lookin for a new word...
8. LOVELY, maybe?
9. hi mom, i'm LOVELY.
10. it sounds so much better.

a poem from me

i'm writing the best poems of my life right now btw. (but don't every artist say that though?)

god is good| sex is good| and both even better when you know em for yourself| ha!

(that wasn't the poem):

wildseed's young girl.

if i was as fearless as i claim i am

last night, i woulda wrote you and said:

goodnightgoodnightgoodnight i give

you a sweet tomorrow. 

       but there's the iknow former

         other lover roommate conferences

         sleep too late friendships i turned

       a candle in your candelabrum maybe

       you noticed? the hole in the loafers

       i left by your door. 

writing you would only underestimate

the atlantic/ like a messenger bird

between us since our last death.

        before, 

          i jumped every plank cuz you was waiting

       and you shanked every culprit try and come for me.

          there's a hater in every crowd. last time we rode every 

        rocket til we trumpet. and i stole every star cuz they was tryin do

too much. i stitched every scar into a cover we could

dance under, i must 

            remember now, to give you

             room. before 

            i swallowed

      every rain, sick

with missing 

you away. 

youhearme?

part my legs, 

      sink.

swat the mundane from my mouth:

goodnightgoodnightgoodnight and

ten thousand tomorrows

in the most respectful way:

cheryl clarke, could get it...

nothing. 

nothing I wouldn't do for the woman i sleep with

when nobody satisfy me the way she do.

kiss her in public places

win the lottery

take her in the ass

in a train lavatory

sleep three in a single bed

have a baby

to keep her wanting me

wear leather underwear

remember my dreams

make plans and schemes

go down on her in front of her

other lover

give my jewelry away

to keep her wanting me.

sell my car

tie her to the bed post and

spank her

lie to my mother

let her watch me fuck my other lover

miss my only sister's wedding

to keep her wanting me.

buy her cocaine

show her the pleasure in danger

bargain

let her dress me in colorful costumes

of low cleavage and slit to the crouch

giving easy access 

to keep her wanting me.

Nothing I wouldn't do for the woman I sleep with

when nobody satisfy me the way she do.

***

from the collection: living as a lesbian